And So We Adjust

Well, we made it through the first day of Daddy not being here. It was a rough go, let me tell you - no one was happy or settled about it. Frenzie (the cat) was meowing and crying all day at random intervals. Muffins the Pug kept barking at the door. Boy cried off and on missing his Dad. I had to be The Mama and comfort them all.

We were SO tired, we went to bed at the early hour of 9 (I wanted 7 but Boy insisted it had to be dark for us to sleep). We also slept until 8, so we were TIRED. Usually when we go to sleep, Muffins will crawl into bed with me and sleep for awhile, then when Dad goes to bed, he will come in and get her and they will go sleep in the other bed (Boy sleeps with me and Frenzie). So last night as we all piled into the bed, Muffins sat at the foot of the bed staring expectantly at the door, and as far as I know, did this for hours even after the lights were off and everyone else had fallen asleep.

Seeing Muffins staring expectantly looking for Daddy set Boy off, and he couldn't stop crying. Poor guy. The animals didn't understand, and that made Boy's empathy meter go off. Frenzie kept going in and out of the room looking for Daddy, but she finally just gave up and snuggled around my neck like she does when we sleep, and she slept most of the night.

Finally, finally everyone fell asleep, and some time during the night Muffins gave up her watch and came and snuggled by my head with her head on my shoulder, snoring into my ear. As I'm a light sleeper this didn't play well for me, so she moved down between myself and Boy and slept there for the rest of the night.

Well, we made it through. Today is a new day. Daddy is driving the truck all day today, from Washintgon to Montana, where he will again sleep in probably not the nicest motel (but the best $60 can buy!), but it's one day closer to him returning home, where he will likely be bombarded by Boy and the animals in fits of love and snuggles.

Wish us luck! The hardest bit is over, so that's a huge relief. Flight went off without a hitch, truck was rented (early even) and loaded successfully, husband is safe and intact (most importantly), driving happened the first night and got him to Washington safely. All of this is a huge relief. I made him check in regularly, texted him updates of how much everyone misses him, set alarms on his phone for 11:11 and 5:55 to cheer him on and remind him of how much we love him.
By the way, I don't know when Budget became cheaper than U-Haul to move across country, but it was by a couple hundred dollars. Previous to this we've always ended up using U-Haul after comparing all of the options because it always ended up being the least expensive option, but not this time. This time Budget was much cheaper. So, just FYI in case you're moving across the country on the cheap. And PODS was 2.5 times the amount of either of those options, so despite the sort of convenience (you still have to load and unload them yourself), it was just out for us. In case you wondered.

Unlike yesterday where I was dragging all day after getting up so early, today in addition to my morning juice and smoothie routine, I have sucessfully walked the dog, fed both animals, gotten laundry started, given everyone their supplements, washed the dishes, and gotten a huge bag of bananas ready to freeze. I also wrote a blog post and am about to refill our supplement containers, then make pizza for Boy.

 Let's take a minute to reflect, shall we? Fifteen months ago I could not even get up off the sofa to do one thing on that list. I had JUST managed to be making myself a smoothie daily, no more. That act would exhaust me. Yesterday, in contrast, while I was exhausted I still managed to do a load of dishes before I went to bed so I wouldn't have so much to do when I got up. And remember, we're in an RV, so I'm washing those dishes by hand, not loading a dishwasher. This is the difference in the energy I have and the kind of energy I have. Exhausted now means something entirely different than exhausted then. Then it was full on fatigue, exhausted meant I had nothing left in me, nothing to "push past", there was just NO fuel in the tank.

But now exhausted means I maybe can still get up and do what needs to be done. I can be the Mama, I can take care of my space. I can feed my kiddo and myself and the animals, I can get up and take Muffins outside to relieve herself, even though I'm tired. It's worlds apart. I've come SO far. And I never would have been able to even entertain the idea of us being on our own for five days fifteen months ago. No way! My husband was our caregiver, we needed him to do everything. That he can now go away and know we'll be all right without him - well, it's just something that hasn't been possible in a long long time - many years.

I know I keep saying it, and I will continue to keep saying it. Thanks to the information in the Medical Medium books, I have been able to heal. I've been able to be well enough to be in the world again, to take care of my space again, to take care of the needs of all of the people and animals that depend on me again, and I am so grateful for all of that healing information and my ability to follow it.