What's Up Wednesday #77 - Holding my Inner Child

Medical Medium  has said that Compassion is the understanding of suffering. I feel that so deeply in my soul.

It's okay to feel the grief of not getting our needs met as children. It's okay to take time to process that pain. It's okay to feel anger, sadness, rage, grief, deep hurt, and any other emotion that comes up about it.

We don't need to prove anything to anyone. We don't need our healing to look a certain way. All we need to do is honor our own journey. To take all the time we need to slow down, to process, to create our routines to best support ourselves and our healing.

Who we are matters in this world. The proof of that is that we are still here. We are the light. Our healing matters. Self-care matters. Self-compassion matters.

It's okay to take whatever time is needed to be slow and deliberate and to heal. In whatever way best works for us. We have nothing to prove. It's not a race.

Our healing IS for us but it's also for the world that we take this time. Because as we let our light shine, as we give ourselves that compassion, we give others permission to do the same. And so we are all igniting compassion in the world.

And what this world needs to heal is compassion.

Give yourself love in the way that you would a small child. I like to put my hand on my heart and say, "I love you," slowly over and over, thinking of the child inside who needed a kind of love and compassion she never received. I can give it to her now. I'm here for her now.

Sometimes the emotions coming up are the child that needs love and compassion. The response is the same : Hand on my heart, "I love you," slowly over and over until I feel the release. The release that comes from being witnessed, acknowledged and loved.

Where can you offer your inner child love and compassion? What is coming up that needs to be seen, heard and acknowledged? Can you sit with yourself, breathe and send love?

What's Up Wednesday #57 - Sadness, Grief and Vulnerability [Medical Medi...

I've seen some posts lately about us as humans always being a work in progress, and about us being masterpieces now even though we are still on our healing journey. I'm letting that sink in.

 I was thinking today about this healing journey - physical, emotional, spiritual - it's not a destination to get to. It's a process and a path upon which to tread. Especially in emotional and spiritual healing, there is no "healed". There is no "now I'm done and I can sit back and just be healed". Because we are always bumping up against old wounds in ourselves, and things in life that trigger us, and great injustices. And we always will be.

The healing comes from us using our tools and progressing in our journeys so that when we do get exposed to such things, our recovery time is much faster. Instead of wallowing for weeks and even months in a wound, we are able to process it much more quickly and do whatever needs doing - letting go, forgiving, holding space, finding compassion.

Some wounds are so much bigger and need more of all of these things. More attention. More inner child work. More support from the angels. More faith. More trust. More transmuting into light and healing. More space.

And that's okay, too. This healing journey, it's not for the faint of heart. Each time we are willing to face these emotions, each time we are willing to process them, each time we give them that attention and ask what they need, they are given the space to be transmuted into light and heal. Each time we listen to the Medical Medium radio show on compassion and give ourselves that compassion. Each time we reach out to others who are filled with compassion and they give us some, it helps us to hold that space. It helps us to see our angels wrapped around that child within us, holding us, and by extension, holding us now as adults.

Each time we take even one of these steps to support ourselves through these painful times, it builds that armor so that next time, our recovery time will be faster. Next time we will have more tools. Next time we will know just what to do to gain the support we need.

There are never not going to be these events and triggers in life that we will face - that's a part of being alive on this dense dense planet. It's a part of our growth and learning. But each time, we have an opportunity to use these tools and allow ourselves to be supported, it gets just slightly easier to remember that this too shall pass. I will get through this - together with the prayers and support of these amazing humans in this Medical Medium community, I will get through this. And as a friend reminded me, when I come out of it, it will be a different world.

What's Up Wednesday #56 - 28 Day Raw Cleanse Day 18 [Medical Medium Heal...

I've passed the middle mark of this Medical Medium 28 day raw cleanse! Just realizing that now, ha! I'm not going to lie, some days I'mn white- knuckling it, but somehow I am still all raw, fat-free and salt-free. Going to bed a lot earlier and wanting more sleep. Riding the wave of emotions that's coming up and down. It's all in the video!

What's Up Wednesday #52 - House Hunting with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities

It's always tricksy with my chemical sensitivities, trying to find a living space that's safe for me. Since my chemical sensitivities were at their height in the height of my chronic illness, we've found ourselves needing to find a new space more than once. I've learned a few things along the way about being the canary in the coalmine and why it's important. 

In case the phrase isn't a familiar one, "Canary in the coalmine"  is an allusion to caged canaries (birds) that miners would carry down into the mine tunnels with them. If dangerous gases such as carbon monoxide collected in the mine, the gases would kill the canary before killing the miners, thus providing a warning to exit the tunnels immediately.

The toxins that my nervous system cannot tolerate include all manner of petrochemicals: plug-in air fresheners, scented candles, perfumes, colognes, detergents, fabric softeners, fragrances in lotions, makeup, deodorants, pesticides, solvents and propellants like turpentine, shellac, butane, propane, natural gas, gasoline, diesel, exhaust fumes...the list goes on, but you get the picture, right? The thing is, I AM the Canary in the Coalmine. These chemicals don't only affect me - they affect ALL of us.

I show the symptoms - like dizziness, migraines, headaches, brain fog, fatigue, pain, confusion, inability to focus. But for ALL of us, these chemicals get into our livers and accumulate there, making our livers sluggish and fatty, preventing them from performing their over 2000 functions that keep us alive every day. Our heroic livers. Always protecting us, keeping us safe. I don't know about you, but I want to do everything I can to HELP my liver do it's job. Even heroes need support. 

Because of Medical Medium and all of the information he brings to us from Spirit, I know just how to support my heroic liver and therefore myself. I know what these toxins do in the body and how to get them out and counteract them. I am eternally grateful for that, because it makes my experience with house hunting an empowering and doable one rather than one fraught with anxiety and panic.

I know when I can and can't go into a space, I know to bring plenty of adrenal snacks for the extra processing my nervous system is taking on, and I know when to rest and take a break.

I see my sensitivity as a gift. Like a spidey sense. A superpower if you will. With it, I know what dangers are present in the environment and I can take the measures I need to to keep myself and my loved ones safe from absorbing too much into our livers and overloading them. It can be intense navigating such a toxic world when you are highly aware of what dangers lurk around every corner, but it can also be empowering. I talk about all of it in the video, have a look!

What's Up Wednesday #50 - Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

Holy moly, can this healing journey ever be difficult sometimes! Not the healing itself, but what we are healing, and going through setbacks. Running adrenaline for a month straight can really set a person back. I'm so feeling the effects of that now, and of not having enough self-support or stability to really take care of myself properly, in the way my body really needs during this time. 

I'm doing my very best, though, and I'm having some compassion for myself on good days. It's never perfect, but we do the best we can. And we credit ourselves for it - that's so important! Acknowledge how hard we are working in difficult circumstances. It's not perfect but it's pretty darn impressive anyway. 

So this trip hasn't exactly gone according to plan, from the start. We've established that I think in previous posts. I haven't seen my family near as much as I wanted to, and seeing them has been such an incredible gift - it's been like gold. And it made me want more. For myself and for my son. He loves seeing his grandparents -  he lights up when he gets to go see them. Both sides. 

It's been making me think. And it's part of what I talk about in the video.

What's Up Wednesday #47 - A Bit of a Cynical Rant

This past week, I couldn't even get a Wednesday video up before the weekend! And it wasn't to do with my being so busy really, if I'm honest. It's more to do with my skin being SO red that I didn't want to show my face. I don't wear makeup, and believe it or not given all the videos I've done with my skin all red and rashy, it does actually embarrass me. But it's part of the process, isn't it? It's part of the healing process, to show the different cycles and stages my skin goes through, and how long it takes to fully heal. It's often one of the last symptoms to disappear for some of us, sadly.

Not having made a video for What's Up Wednesday really didn't fel right, so I gave in on Friday and filmed one - only to not be able to fully edit and complete it until Saturday - and here we are.

In the video I talk about how Taste Nirvana - the coconut water we were all drinking - changed its formula - it had been the ONLY pure coconut water in the US, the only one without stuff added to it - and they changed it! They claim it's because they kept getting complaints from people saying that the taste was inconsistent. Duh, really? It's coconut water, it comes from a coconut, and you're surprised about inconsistency? And they really got enough complaints that a whole company went to the expense to change their entire formula? I'm not buying that BS. I think it was more a matter of palms being greased and influencers saying you need to add this, stealing away our health little by little by adding MSG to a product they knew we were drinking almost daily. It's infuriating.

It was the ONLY one. So now if we want coconut water in the US, we have to use young thai coconuts, and then figure out something to do with the flesh inside too - I don't want to waste it but I won't eat it because of the fat. However, my family still eats a bit of fat, so I could make it into wraps and feed it to them. Or noodles. Oooh, I could blend it into sauces for them for creaminess....well, at least I already have a Coco Jack.

That's not all I talk about, there's another rant about finding a website designing platform that makes it relatively easy, yet is customizable, but also has really good blog support...I know you're going to say Wordpress but let me finish - and also doesn't get hacked on the regular. Wix and Squarespace both have great interface and features, and semi decent blog support, but you can't import a blog from anywhere else. Dealbreaker. Wordpress gets hacked too easily, and if something goes awry, it's on you, or rather me. Nope.

I actually did a third rant about the poor quality of the Canon Rebel EOS, but I deleted it from the video because it was just TOO much ranting, and rather unnecessary to a weekly healing uppdate....but I'll just say here if you are thinking of buying one for your YouTube channel, don't bother. I have so many reasons. It cuts off the videos every 10 minutes or so, really really poor battery life, feels flimsy, makes me miss my Nikon D70S (didn't take video but STILL WORKS) and my Pentax K1000 (film camera, also still works after 33 years, but obviously not usable for well, much of anything anymore).

Oh and yeah, I sort of did a healing update? I talked about my foods and my skin but got sidetracked by ranting. Well, it's got to come out sometimes, right? I guess today was one of those days. 

What's Up Wednesday #11 - No Fat Thyroid Rehab [Medical Medium Healing]

 

Today is Day 66 of the 90 Day Thyroid Rehab Challenge, Option C from the Medical Medium "Thyroid Healing" book. 

Yesterday I was fat-free, salt-free, and I did the Pocket Gym! Woohoo! AND I went on an evening walk and didn't crash, I'm so happy about that!

More #victorycheck s afoot! I went into a shoe store FULL of rubber and offgassing and I was okay, no crash! We did henna on my hair and I was still okay. Then on Saturday I crashed in the middle of an evening walk after forgetting to have some glucose first. Oh no!

Getting in enough food when that food is just fruits and vegetables seems to be an ongoing lesson for me. Making up for the caloric density of fats with just fruits and vegetables certainly is a learning curve, and one it's taking me plenty of time to master.

Speaking of fat, Medical Medium did an amazing live question and answer about protein on Facebook here, I highly recommend watching it for some fantastic information about how the body works and what it really needs.

What's Up Wednesday #10 - Self-Compassion [Medical Medium Healing]

Medical Medium Compassion Radio Show: https://soundcloud.com/medicalmedium/healing-power-of-compassion

Sometimes we struggle. Healing certainly doesn't change that. We're always going to be human. This planet is a tough tough place. In times of struggle it's so incredibly important to have compassion for ourselves, because we ARE human. We WILL struggle. But we are working SO hard, we're doing so much for ourselves on this healing journey.

Medical Medium did a radio show on Self-Compassion that I highly recommend listening to.

Healing is a journey. It takes time for us to heal, and sometimes we, myself included, can get impatient with the process. I want to fast track things and speed them up. Then it turns into something like coming down on myself, making myself wrong, using the process for self-flagellation. Oh my goodness, I'm not going to let that happen. I've come too far, I've worked too hard and I've done too much to let myself fall into that old pattern. 

In this video I actually work through some of this, and figure out a plan for myself to support myself through the process.

What's Up Wednesday #8 - Talking Medical Medium Cleanse with moreRoslyn

 

For this What's Up Wednesday my friend Roslyn and I are interviewing and updating each other about our experiences on the Raw 28-day cleanse. Take a look at the video to see how we're doing!

Whats's Up Wednesday #7 - Fatigue! [Medical Medium Healing]

 

Day 9 of all raw Medical Medium 20 Day cleanse

Day 44 of juicing asparagus

Day 31 of 90 Day Thyroid Rehab Challenge

Lots of detox, lots of sleep disruption, lots of emotional detox. A bit of adrenal fatigue. I started doing the Pocket Gym last week, which was so exciting! Still not enough energy to do it daily, but doing it at all is a huge #victorycheck because I couldn't do movement really at all before. 

More of my weekly update in the video. Lots of resting this week! Sometimes you have to just rest and allow the resting to happen.

What's Up Wednesday #6 - Emotional Detox [Medical Medium Healing]

 

Day 38 of asparagus juice

Day 25 of the 90 Day Thyroid Rehab Challenge

Last week I did 6 days straight of raw. Now I'm ready for the Medical Medium 28-day raw cleanse with 10% fat. So that's what's next!

Emotional detox has been happening too. Random stuff from high school, loss of relationships, creating big feelings. I'm using my emotional tools from my toolbox, ones I learned in Detox Mastery with Muneeza. Emotion Code being one. I've been releasing trapped emotions from my body and it has been so powerful. 

Another technique to let go of a relationship that's no longer working is cord cutting, which I describe in the video. I've used it and found it to be quite effective, so check it out if you think it could be useful to you.

One of my favourite shows that Medical Medium has done, about chronic illness and what it's like, is called "Soul's Gold". I'd call it an incredible emotional healing tool, it's helped me through some hard times. Loss of relationships, loss of self-worth, loss of trust, all of those things effect a person deeply. This isn't an easy journey we are on, and sometimes it helps to be reminded of why we are here.

What's Up Wednesday #5 - Even More Detox and Going Raw [Medical Medium H...

 

I've been drinking my cucumber/apple/asparagus juice, doing the 90 Day Thyroid Rehab, and today is three days raw! I love being raw and the energy it gives me, it's just such a difference!

Of course with raw comes detox, which is an adventure in and of itself. I also upped my supplements for shingles and streptococcus, which is causing some little flares - bursitis, itching and tightness - not fun but it's a part of the healing journey, so I'm taking it in stride. 

Listening to Medical Medium's Healing UTIs show is what prompted me to up some of my supplements for strep, since I have had it in my body for so long.

Right now I'm just trying to keep the fats low and keep it raw because I feel so much better that way. after watching the Facebook live that Medical Medium did with Robby Barbero and hearing an actual number of fat grams to keep it below (30 grams), I've decided to keep a food diary to see how much fat I am actually eating. 

I just really want to take my liver healing to the next level and give my body all the love it really needs to keep healing, more and more. 

What's Up Wednesday #4 - So Many Toxins [Medical Medium Healing]

 

Talking about toxicity! So many toxins here in Wisconsin! Sprays in the sky, 5G towers, pesticides, hard water full of copper! It's so hard on our poor bodies, mine in particular, which is already so overloaded!

I'm doing the Thyroid Rehab Challenge from Medical Medium's third book, "Thyroid Healing". I've been feeling the fatigue! But never so bad as it was when I was so chronically ill. There should be a range of words for fatigue that tell you really the different stages. But here's what the thesaurus gave me: lethargy, weakness, weariness, debility, dullness, enervation, ennui, exhaustion, faintness, feebleness, heaviness, langour, lassitude, listlessness, brain fog, burnout, fatigation, overtiredness.

I'm drinking the most delicious pineapple ginger smoothie, recipe courtesy of Medical Medium. It's amazing! You should try it too. Very helpful for restoring glucose when you're in extra need! As I am, having been working on this video about heavy metals. Man, such heavy stuff! So many toxins in so many unexpected places.

What's Up Wednesday #1 - Emotional Healing [Medical Medium Healing]

 

My very first What's Up Wednesday -  where I talk about my healing journey and how it's going for me. I just finished a 3 month guided cleanse with Muneeza, where we deepened our understanding of the Medical Medium information and learned some wonderful emotional support tools for healing. 

I learned about Emotion Code - an energy work that helps you release emotions trapped in our bodies. Emotions that can prevent us from moving forward in our lives. There's a free book available in audio or pdf format that explains Emotion Code thoroughly, as well as how to practice it on yourself.

I had this big realization, a memory from childhood coming up - a memory of feeling like I don't matter, of being invisible. It seemed this memory was coming up to be healed, to be seen and heard and acknowledged. Big Emotions happening, and I'm really feeling it.

Then the Universe gave me some acknowledgement - in big ways - that made me see that hey, you matter. Humans matter. Each one of you has a place in this world and that includes you - me. Sometimes we need to go through the big feelings to heal them. And the other side can feel so open, free, renewed and refreshed. We just have to be willing to feel those feelings coming up.