home is where the heart is. where is mine?

So now here we are in Portland. I made it, we're safe, it's completely surreal at this point, because we got used to being in St. Louis. We began to develop a rhythm there, staying with my in-laws, having been there a whole month. It was interesting, because those first two weeks, they were rather difficult actually - totally different to our home rhythm, having to drove so far to see anyone, figuring out how to coordinate, feeling like we needed to meet others' needs as well as needing to meet our own...

Then we'd go out and get a dose of our friends, it's like it just filled me up. The complications of everything else would fall away, and I'd just be wrapped in the experience of old friends. All this time has passed since I've seen many of them, and so much has changed in so many ways, and yet...it would be like no time had passed at all. The friendships, the closeness, the sarcasm, the ribbing, the love...all of it was there as if we'd never left. And there is just nothing like those kids of friendships - the kind where you've watched each other grow up, you've watched each other fall and screw up and learn and grow. And here we all are as adults - with kids and homes and families and responsibilities - and we all felt so proud of each other - look how far we'd come - look at all we've accomplished.


Meeting new friends in new cities is wonderful. There is so much diversity and wisdom and there are all of these common interests - and I love that. And even though there might not be all of that in old friends, there is...well, it feels like family. These people get me. They knew me when. They loved me then and they still love me, just because I am me. We may differ in our views, in our lifestyles, in our parenting...and it's all okay because we knew each other when - the love, the bond, the friendship is there, no matter how much time passes. It feels amazing to be accepted like that.


I am so glad we got to be in St. Louis for a month. I had some really difficult struggles while we were there, many of which are still happening. There is a big rift in my family of origin now that wasn't there before - or at least, I wasn't aware of it. And I had some really amazing times with my in-laws - they feel so much more like my family now, supporting us and loving us through these struggles and others that they've known about. And the times spent with friends - we get to see so little of our friends usually on our trips to St. Louis - most of our time is spent with family. To see all of these wonderful friends again that we've only seen on Facebook for so many years - it was a gift I'll cherish for a long long time. To feel that much love, to receive and give that many hugs, to be welcomed back with open arms and so many, "So when are you moving back here?"s....


It did make me wax nostalgic. What would it be like to return after all these years? The city itself has changed so much - it's grown up and taken pride in itself. There is still an angry edge to it - racial tensions run high there and it feels very divided in ways - and in other ways it has become more self-aware. It's as if St. Louis took a personal growth course and is beginning to find itself. It is greener, in all ways, and it is working toward more growth and self-love. People are finally proud to say they live there, and rightfully so. St. Louis has this amazing thing about it - its people. Nowhere have I found such a unique and dynamic blend of people so full of love and acceptance and sarcasm and edginess.

Choosing where to put ourselves is very difficult at times. We have a list of criteria which Portland meets beautifully, and has the potential to meet completely. Deep friendships take time to develop - we've got some developing here now, and the depth will just take time. And then in St. Louis there is family and friends - long-time friends who have known us through it all. It can be a conundrum, can't it?

In the meanwhile, we're about to go and house-sit for a month and be reunited with our sweet little cat, Frenzie. I suspect this will be a month of deep reflection indeed.

ready to fly

Apparently fall is upon us - not just here in St. Louis, but back home as well. It occurred to me as we were here that I left all of one pair of jeans unpacked and exactly one long-sleeved shirt. In our car in Portland is my hooded purple sweatshirt jacket...and this concludes our warm clothing until we unload our storage unit once we've got somewhere to unload it to. Luckily there are some awesome clothing swaps/thrift stores in Portland, And I already have friends my size who are quite stylish and frugal and can take me shopping. I guess I get some new additions to my wardrobe this year.

The money arrived in our bank account, and we got dollar for dollar in the currency conversion, so that was all good. I haven't written in awhile both because we've been busy doing things with friends and because I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted again. Yesterday I was under the weather and managed to spend the entire day in bed doing absolutely nothing...just watching TV and surfing the web.  Okay, I did do a bit of smartphone plan research, but other than that, just nothing of use.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of driving almost an hour to get to anywhere we want to go, every other day or sometimes daily. I'm tired of everyone wanting us to go and do this or that with them and none of them offering to come out here to see us. Then they are disappointed when we cancel because it is just too much driving for us. I'm tired of not having our stuff around us, and our bed, and Frenzie, our little kitty. I'm tired of the rude drivers here and the smoking and the way people think they can speak to my son as though he is beneath them, rather than treating him like a human being.

I'm sad that I cannot be around my Mother and one of my brothers without feeling like it's no different than if I were 3000 miles away, because I am no longer included in their version of family. Except in email. I'm really sad about that - I feel like they are excluding me because I am far away, like I am just not a part of them anymore. My youngest brother and I have connected more this trip, though - I am very grateful for that.

I want to go home. It isn't that I haven't enjoyed being here  - I really have enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and spending time with my in-laws and my youngest brother. Seriously. It has been great fun going to the zoo and to the Magic House and parks and shopping. And we're just ready to go home now. To begin our life in Portland. To be somewhere that is ours again.

with just a little bit of melancholy

So we've been here a few days now, and things have been good. My in-laws have a nice spacious home with plenty of space for all of us. They have beautifully carpeted floors, which Kiernen loves, and a Wii, and satellite TV in several rooms, including the one we're sleeping in. We've stocked the fridge with Trader Joe's food, Kiernen gets time with us whenever he likes, and he has even had kids to play with on a fairly regular basis now.

We've been out of what was our home for 8 days now. And yesterday and today it seemed to hit: we're far away from any place we call home. We don't really even have a home anymore, technically. Not until we get back and find ourselves one. So for all of us, really, there is a bit of feeling lost, like we're floating; in a stasis of sorts. And today I think Kiernen was really feeling it, as was I: we're homesick.

Kiernen was crying and crying that he missed his Xbox and his games, and I realized that he missed his home. We talked a bit about it, and I became aware that for all of us, there will likely be a mourning period. We lived in that house for 4.5 years, most of Kiernen's life. Of course he will be sad about leaving it, of course he will have a hard time in this transition. We're doing the best we can to make it go more smoothly for him, and it's not easy.

My brain has been sort of foggy and dazed for a few days now. This is a very different environment - carpeting, chemical cleaners and detergents, perfumes, processed foods...it is lovely looking but I'm starting to wonder if it affecting me. Yesterday and today a wave of sadness hit me, and it seems to be sticking. We went out today to get some fresh air. Everything is so spread out here, it is difficult to go anywhere without driving  - so we end up being in cars or buildings all day, even though the weather has been beautiful for the past few days. 

I've been feeling lost and dazed. Yesterday was the weirdest day - I felt like I wasn't in my body properly, and I kept doing really clumsy things - I opened my door too far and scratched someone's car door accidentally; I knocked over a lampshade trying to turn off the lamp; I opened a van door and ended up pinning my mother-in-law between the van and her garage shelves, and I couldn't make the door close again. 

Also my mother-in-law accidentally drove out of turn and then stopped when she realized she was, letting another car go through. The three young girls in the car began screaming obscenities at her (us) - all three of them - and it was really weird - they were just shouting at her as loudly and nastily as they could even though she had stopped to let them go through. We both pretended we weren't fazed by it but I think we were both pretty affected - it was just surreal and not something I've encountered in a long long time - people on the West Coast just don't seem to do that.

We love visiting family, but this is not our home. We're eating way junkier food here, because even though I've bought healthy stuff, there is also a lot of junky stuff, and we keep eating it. We've even been snacking before bed, which we generally don't do - at least I don't. And I've been getting to bed WAY later than usual and sleeping late. Today when I woke up I just felt a little off and I went back to sleep for several more hours. I sort of feel like we're falling apart here, and I'm not sure what to do about it. 

Physically, I still have this gunk in my lungs, and even though I'm not coughing at night, I do cough every time I laugh or the air is too dry. Josh is still congested and wakes up all full of goo, and has been having sinus headaches. I know this will go away soon, I just feel like it has been with us for such a long time now. We usually recover much more quickly from things. Kiernen is fine physically, he just really misses his home a lot.

I think we miss our routine, too. Things are very different here for us, and we're having a hard time finding our flow, and I keep feeling like I'm not totally in my body or in my head. And right now, it's 2AM - I'm awake, feeling purposeless, like there is something I need to do but I just don't know what...knowing that actually I do have a short list of things to do before too much time has passed...but forgetting it during the day when there is time for me to do it. 

Hopefully this will pass and my brain will return, because this foggy feeling, it does not work for me. 

On the positive side, tonight was brilliant - we visited Hubby's best friend and his family - they're a great fit for us as a family, because we love the adults and the kids alike, all three of us - and every time we see them we fall right in line as if no time has passed at all, even though our kids have gotten significantly bigger and everyone has gained some gray hair. Being with them brightened my whole day - not just mine but Josh and Kiernen's as well - and it was a very fun night with mostly laughter and joy. For this I am so appreciative.

and then we moved to Portland

Well, we made it. After a lovely visit with our dear friends in Washington, we managed to get ourselves on the road. Our plan (that word! It almost invites interference, no?) was to split off around Vancouver, WA, where I'd go to deliver our sweet kitty to the house we'll be sitting in October, and Hubby would go on to the storage locker to meet the movers and unload. Except we'd gotten a late start, so he had to call and let them know he'd be late.

I managed to find my location and drop off Frenzie (our wee cat) with relative ease - it was a bit of a drive off course, but the house is nice, and I recognized some of the family from the Life is Good Conference we'd attended earlier in the year. She will hopefully be acclimated to he house and the cats there by the time we return to house-sit in October.

Despite several wrong turns due to failed directions from Googlemaps and ongoing construction in Portland, Hubby managed to fine the storage unit. Eventually after asking directions three times, I managed to find it, too. Hubby played 3D Tetris with our stuff and the storage locker, assisted by the guys we hired to help him, and much later than anticipated, the locker was finally loaded.

I ought to add that when I finally did show up at the unit, Hubby said, "Oh, thank goodness, I didn't know if you'd make it!" Then because the guys agreed to stay later, he needed me to get cash. Well, having just entered Portland and not knowing where anything was, I was unsure how to accomplish this task. But my friend Hedy lives on an easy street to find, so after mentioning the name of the street in front of the guy assisting Hubby, I had directions and was on my way.

I showed up on her doorstep and I'm pretty sure the first word our of my mouth after hi was, "help!". Not only did Hed help me with the ATM location, she took me there and to Burgerville for food for them, then sat and waited with me for them to finish so Hubby could drop off the truck and we could return to her house and collapse.

And then we had a beautiful time visiting her family and seeing bits of Portland. We made a huge breakfast for everyone the next day, then she and I took the kids to the park while Hubby rested to try and feel better from the exhaustion  and his cold. Then we found this fantastic vegan bakery and got Coconut Bliss ice cream for the kids and gluten-free treats for us. The kids got along swimmingly, watching TV and playing together - Hed's eldest and Kiernen were even snuggling up together on the sofa while watching - it was beyond cute. And when it was time to pack up and fly to St. Louis, he didn't want to leave them - he was quite happy in their home - as were we.

The flight was good: little TVs in the seats (with Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3), juice and fresh-baked cookies, and it was short. The Portland airport is just gorgeous! Very very shiny and clean and eco-friendly. So now we're here, in St. Louis. We had a lazy day today, followed by dinner with family. Tomorrow the boys are going on a hike with Hubby's best friend and his kids, and an ice cream social with family in the evening.

It's good to be back for awhile. It's good to be able to rest and relax. It's good to be around family.

the best laid plans....

I had all of the details worked out for the move. I had all the right paperwork, I had the forms, I had everything we'd need for the move. I had the inventory of everything we own and values in triplicate. Triplicate! I had the import papers for the car, I had that EPA paper for the car saying it passed emissions. I had every box meticulously labeled. I had papers for our cat, saying she was in good health. I had papers saying we were bringing goods across the border. I had a list of random things we'd bought in the past year, in triplicate, because we'd read that they wanted to know what we'd purchased in the past year.

My son and hubby rode together in the 26' truck, along with out cat and everything we own except what was packed into suitcases and carry on luggage in our car, which I was driving. We pull up to the border - the sign says 10 minute wait. We walkie-talkie back and forth (because we don;t own cell phones) and decide to use the passenger lane, even for the truck, because the truck lane is completely loaded with trucks. As promised, we reach the actual border in 10 minutes.

I'm behind them in the car, so I watch the border guard talk with my husband for a few minutes, expecting him to say the truck needs to pull over to the building for inspection. Or that at least he has to go in and show the inventory of our stuff. But the guard waves him on and my husband begins to pull over toward the road instead. Wow, sweet, they're through! So fast, no hassle - rock on!

I pull up and show him my passport and say I'm with them. He asks if I'm importing the car, too. Yes, I say. He tells me to pull to the right by the building and go in to give them the paperwork. No problem, and I radio to Hubby to let him know I'm going in to give them the paperwork for the car. He says great, they'll be at the gas station filling up the truck. Great. I park, go in, am seen by someone immediately, and hand over my paperwork. I say, "oh, you also probably want the registration," at the exact second that my brain is showing me a picture of where said registration is. In the folder for "Auto license and registration" in the filing cabinet...which is in the truck. The one that just drove across the border and to the gas station several blocks from where I now stood.

Oh.

Um...

Right.

I delude myself, thinking no, it cannot be in there, it must be in the glove box of the car, right? So I go out to the car and search the glove box. Right. Not there, just as I actually knew but was pretending not to. So I try and radio Hubby to let him know. After all, these rockin' walkie-talkies we bought have a 23-mile radius! He can just open the truck, find the file cabinet, get the folder, then drive back to just before the border and meet me there! A quick walk across and we're good, no worries. A slight snag.

I radio him. No answer. I try again. No answer. I explain my predicament to the border guards who watch the cars, then let them know I'm going to walk to the gas station to get the paper I need. I begin walking there, and keep trying to radio Hubby to let him know what's up. I'm pretty sure he packed the file cabinet close to last, so I'm sure it is near the back of the truck. This shouldn't be too big a deal.

I am able to reach him as soon as I am away from the border building. I let him know of my missing registration and where it is. He lets me know that the file cabinet is, in fact, near the back of the truck. Oh. Well, we need the registration or no car, so he begins to unload the truck in the parking lot of the gas station while I keep walking toward them.

Right about the time he'd gotten a significant amount of our stuff offloaded from the truck, one of the lovely employees at said gas station came out to yell at him to move the truck, because "he was blocking the semis from getting in" even though the semis were driving around him just fine. When he explained his predicament, her response was, "Well, I know you've got all your stuff out here, but you need to move." She went back inside. He didn't move. She didn't return.

Meanwhile I was walking to the gas station, and Kiernen and I were radioing back and forth - which likely was keeping him occupied and out of his Daddy's hair while he unloaded the truck. Right when I got to the truck, Josh had unearthed the filing cabinet, I handed him the key I'd retrieved from my keyring before I left the border. The folder was retrieved, washrooms were used, orange juice was purchased, my poor exhausted Hubby finished reloading the truck (in record time, I might add - while washrooms and juice were happening). He took me close to the border and dropped me off, then went to retrieve a package and say goodbye at Security Mail where we've been receiving packages for the past 4.5 years.

Once I had the registration in hand, all I had to do was fill out a form and sign it, then the guard there entered something into the computer, got out an orange piece of paper, stamped it, handed it to me and I was on my way. It took all of 5 minutes, most of which was my filling out the form.

The moral of the story is: Keep your registration in your glove box! Or at least a copy of it. Because wow, the amount of time and effort expended after an already long and trying day (in which we ended up being 5 hours later then we'd intended leaving) was just...insane, really.

And there is appreciation: I appreciate that I purchased said walkie-talkies. This would have been much much more drawn out without them. I appreciate that I remembered that the key to the filing cabinet was on my keyring before I'd gone too far in walking toward the gas station. I appreciate the border guard letting the huge truck full of everything through with such ease. I appreciate only a 10 minute border wait.

I appreciate being able to stop here, at the Turners', and feel the connection and warmth and love of their home, and just be with them, even if only for a little while. I appreciate that there was a home-cooked delicious meal hot and waiting on the table for us when we arrived, even though we hadn't been able to call and give them a heads-up on what was happening with us. I appreciate this warm cozy bed to sleep in.

I appreciate all of our neighbors at Windsong going above and beyond in helping us load the truck, clean, clear things out, giving us shelter, feeding us, and making us feel so so loved. I appreciate that so many of them came outside as we left and saw us off. I appreciate the hugs and the tears and the family we have there. We really did make some beautiful connections there, and we will miss living next to our wonderful neighbors so much.

And now we're on to our next grand adventure. Well, after some sleep, anyway.

the news is good

This isn't my photo. I borrowed it from the internet, from a page which incidentally has a pretty great article about packing for a move - all of which I followed on my own. Except #4. I did generally try to pack most of a room at a time, but my house is an open floorplan and some of the rooms run together, and mostly what I did was just pack the things we didn't use so much first, then packed what I use all the time last. Like now, almost everything in my house is packed, except in the office I've still got my PC and printer here on my desk.

And with #5, we're doing an inventory with approximate (or when we know them, exact) values of the items as well. We needed this for when we moved to Canada, so we are also doing it for the US. At the border if you come prepared with a list of everything you've got, I've found it's much less likely that they will need to take the time to verify said list - although they certainly have the right to should they choose it. Plus when we unpack,. I know where EVERYTHING is - and because I've got it on a sheet, I don;t even have to search around on all of the boxes - I can just find what I want on the sheet and then find that particular box. Even better, it's in Googledocs, so I can do a word search and find it even quicker on my laptop. Best of all worlds.

Also, we didn't purchase any boxes. We went around to dumpsters behind restaurants and department stores and got all of our boxes that way. As I mentioned before, asking at grocery stores and copying shops is a good idea, as well.

Our plans are ever-changing and solidifying at the same time. It turns out that we're going to house-sit for some new friends in Vancouver, WA - just north of Portland, about 40 minutes away. These same friends are going to go ahead and take Frenzie for us for the month of September, since we'll be there in October. That way she can get used to her cats, they can get used to her, and she won't be moving around so darn much like we will.

Since they won't be leaving until October 3rd for Europe, we went ahead and extended our visit to St. Louis to see our families by a week - we'll be flying back to Portland on the 1st now. So we'll have an entire month in St. Louis with our families - whee! That also gives us an entire month to find a place in Portland, if we need it - I'm all for getting in somewhere sooner rather than later, but the good thing is we will have time.

Because of us essentially being "homeless" for a month - as in, not our own beds/our own home, I've been thinking of ways to make the transition time easier for Kiernen. After all he is 6, and has lived in the same house since he was 18 months old. This is really pretty hard on him, because he doesn't want to leave - he and his father are both more like rocks that just want to be where they are, and I am more like a bird who wants to fly here and there and see what new adventures we can find. Only this bird does want to nest and roost once she finds just the right place in which to settle. I am so hoping that this is what Portland will be for us.

And beauty - Hubby's job has offered for him (as per his suggestion) to continue working for them for a month as a contractor - this means he will be paid hourly to continue working on the project they're working to finish, while they are also training his replacement who will eventually take over for him. Good for us, because it means at least some income while we're in transition and looking for other options.

Also good for us: we signed the papers for the sale of our house, and we got a good chunk more money than even my Hubby anticipated. He'd done some quick math about it, and I wanted to err on the side of caution, so I put the number at significantly less than he'd calculated. Then in the end, it was more than even his calculations. Awesome. This means that when we are ready to buy again, we'll have a decent down payment and lower mortgage payments.

The congestion I had is totally gone and my cough is finally seeming to dissipate - good thing, too, because I am so ready for a full night's sleep uninterrupted by coughing fits and trips to the restroom because I'm about to pee on myself. The good news about this cough is that it has convinced me to just leave the cleaning to the cleaning lady rather than doing any of it myself - I need to be able to heal, and kicking up even more dust and inhaling whatever else is just more than my body can handle right now. I'm pretty amazed at my ability to continue functioning and packing through this thick congestion and relentless cough. But I have - I'm feeling pretty tough about that, in fact. Superwoman!

The next few days for us are full of the rest of our packing (almost finished!), saying our last goodbyes, and last minute errands - and the bank! We load up the truck Tuesday and we're off on Wednesday. Wow. Only four more sleeps until we leave!

Moving to the U.S. - Returning resident exemptions & how to clear goods

I thought I'd offer what I've found in our quest for information about expats returning to the US. Firstly, what can we bring and how do we do it?

Moving to the U.S. - Returning resident exemptions & how to clear goods

In many of these articles I find a reference to a form "CBP 6059", which as near as I can ascertain is nonexistent. Instead, it seems that the form needed to cross the border with one's household effects is, in fact, CBP Form 3299 Declaration for Free Entry of Unaccompanied Articles.

As for our car, I figured out from calling the Department of Transportation that this form and this other form are what are needed. As far as I can tell, this is it. Let's hope this proves to be true as we cross the border this Wednesday with everything we own.   

I can't help it if I'm small.
Look how cute I am in this box.

When we brought our cats here to Canada, they all had to have rabies certificates. Because of this, I assumed they would returning to the US, too. So I dutifully went out and got her examined and got her a certificate. Then I looked up the information today to double-check. Importing our cat, from this document:

Cats - All domestic cats must be free of evidence of disease communicable to humans when
examined at the port of entry. If the animal is not in apparent good health, further examination by
a licensed veterinarian may be required at the owner's expense.
There is no requirement for a rabies certificate but most airlines require a veterinarian’s health
certificate. Cats arriving in Hawaii or Guam, both of which are free of rabies, are subject to locally imposed quarantine requirements.

So, no rabies certificate required. Damn. Oh well, she's been declared in good health, if not a little thin (we feed her - she has unlimited access to food, I promise! She is just a small cat!)  

the move preparation continues

I was reminded the other day that I have an account at fotopages.com, so I perused it and figured I'd link it here.  Honestly I'm surprised that website still exists with flickr and picasa and other such mediums about. But there you go, my life when we lived in Washington...nice taking that little walk down memory lane when I'm of course supposed to be packing and/or backing up files on my computer in preparation for the move.

A little tip about moving: back up all of your files and especially important things (for me that means photos and video) on your computer before you move. Just in case. In our case, we have not only DVD backup, but also an external hard drive to backup to. Just in case.

Also, because we're crossing a border, we're keeping an inventory of everything we pack, including values. I've got myself a spreadsheet going that I continually update as we go. We're currently up to Item # 136 and counting: there are at lease 5 incomplete boxes in the living room waiting for last minute items to be put in (videos, video games, toys, etc) and I haven't even touched the kitchen or the bathroom yet - mostly because I ran out of boxes before I ran out of stuff.

Type of boxes that are a favourite for moving: for me, it's case paper boxes - you can get them at any place that sells paper and/or makes copies, usually for free. I love these because they're small enough that no matter what you put in them, it's not going to be too heavy to carry. These are awesome for books and other heavy items. My cousin swears by banana boxes. She loves then for the handles, the lids, and the durability. These, of course, can be gotten at grocery stores, and I'd also bet smoothie places. We've been getting boxes from all over the place this move, though - the dumpsters behind the sandwich shop, the dumpster behind the outlet store (all clean and cardboard-only), and my husband's work (he works in a hotel building doing IT, so these are mostly toilet paper boxes - but they're a good size for lighter items. Big, so too much filling can make them heavy, according to my husband. Loading the moving truck ought to be interesting, as these boxes are nothing close to uniform in size. Whee.

Moving day draws nearer - friends are calling us for last dinners and visits, and there are only 12 days left until we load the truck.

I still need to do things like close bank accounts we won't keep and pick up medical and dental records - I've been putting these off because I really don't want to do them - they aren't fun errands at all. I'm hoping to combine dental records with a visit with a friend in the same area, and vet records need to be gotten for our cat, which means we need to create some, as in take her in for a visit. She seems to be the only cat of the four we previously had to not need visits to the vet, so I was surprised to find she had zero records with them.

We sold out LCD TV to a neighbor because the warranty won't cross the border, nor will they issue a refund, but they will transfer it to a different person. That's fine by me, honestly - the TV is less than a year old and it was too big for me anyway - when we move I can choose one that is better suited to our space and is less crazymaking for me.

Items are listed and selling on Craigslist - assorted things we wanted to not give away but try to recoup some money for. We'll see. The rest we'll donate to charity.

We're still working on a solution for our little kitty, Frenzie being taken care of for a month while we're visiting family. Of course we could leave her here, but when we return from there, here will be a 6 hour drive from where we'll be settling, so that isn't a really desirable option. I've got feelers out for her being in OR or WA at least. We shall see.

We have renters and auto insurance lined up for when we move - yay! These things are important. And I'm told everything is covered in transit as well. Our house is looking emptier and emptier as more things go into boxes - and we're getting more excited.

Apparently all of the dust I've been kicking up coupled with the lack of sleep I've been managing for whatever reasons has given me a cough that wants to settle. I figure better now than when we're on a plane, so I'm fine with it. We have time now for me to rest a day or two and recuperate, I'm glad for that.

Moving right along.....

keeping my eye on the ball

Sometimes it can be easy for me to find stress in looking at the big picture - feeling mired by the enormity of the tasks that lie ahead. And if I instead take a step back and look at what is just before me to do, it seems more doable and not so overwhelming. I like to make lists, so that I can see the items on them being crossed off - it makes me feel much more accomplished. My NAET practitioner and acupuncturist, Sophya (I highly recommend her if you are anywhere near Vancouver) said to me, "Make your goals small - give yourself things to do you know you will be able to do in a day. Than when you do them, take time to feel good about that and acknowledge yourself. Then if you do more, WOW! Look how much you did that day!" (Okay, so I'm paraphrasing a little bit, only because unlike my sweet son, I don't have exact total recall. But this is essentially what she said, and the 'WOW' was definitely there, in her charming Russian accent.) She is our new Russian grandmother, Sophya. She is an amazing woman, and so very intuitive.

Inspired by Sophya's words and in the interest of bringing myself up and out from being bogged down in the details of packing and moving, I wrote a little reminder of what we're looking forward to about the move.

In no particular order:

PORTLAND

comfy house
sunny, with lots of windows
large fenced backyard
kitchen windows that look out to yard
fireplace
windows we can open in bedrooms
safe neighborhood
quiet street
garage
mudroom
clean air
lots of kids
friendly, fun neighbors
tree-lined streets
eco-friendly
trampoline!
lots of good friends
lots of homeschool group events/trips/fun
lots of fun places to go
lakes in summer
LEGO store
kid and adult swaps (toys, clothing, stuff)
lots of movement and activity
short (or no) commute for Hubby
support!
wellness
ecstatic dance
yoga
tai chi
love
bliss!

sleepy kitten tires of this

I just love how when I lie down to try and rest my brain for sleep, my mind begins to clear and organize my thoughts for the coming week...a day would be sufficient, and can we just please skip the nightly walks down memory lane, thanks?

On the bright side, my brain did manage to clear some things about our packing and moving that had been troubling me. Namely, that state of one's home that begins to take over once one begins packing everything, which one can only refer to as 'chaos'. I can stand a fair bit of untidiness, but after awhile, clutter begins to get to me, especially if it is chaotic clutter. I prefer organized clutter, if that makes any sense at all. That is to say, when I can walk through my house without having to navigate my way around things, and I know where everything is. When things get too far away from where I prefer them to be, I become anxious...and my anxiety generally tends to manifest itself as grumpiness, and sometimes yelling, and sometimes tears.

Sigh.

So as you might be able to guess, having boxes every which where I turn in my house isn't conducive to my mental health. and yet, this is what is so: we are moving. We need to pack things. There will be boxes. Also: taxes! and death!

But my brain proved to be of some use to me, as did my tireless husband - well, he isn't tireless, since he is asleep at this very second of my typing this - he does have a job outside of the home to go to in the morning, after all. My point being that what my husband did today was work on clearing out his hobby room to use for storing the boxes. And I realized that if we take that just a little bit farther and take out his computer and his desk, we can fill that whole room with boxes (rather than my living room). This would make space in my living room for the elliptical, which I'd like to have in there for me to burn off stress throughout my day as I am packing. (Doesn't that sentence make me sound like I'm fit and healthy? How I love thee, words on a page. If only you had the power to create my real life as I type you. )

I can also pack up my sweet son's room, and then Hubby can disassemble both his shelves and his bed, and then we can also fill his room with boxes, leaving the upstairs (where we spend all of our time) virtually clear of boxes - although there is the little matter of The Stuff That is Needing to Go - either to Craigslist or charity - that might be occupying said happy space in the meanwhile.

Right this very second, my eyeballs took a time out to yell at me for my keeping them open to type this out. "Really? You're insisting on keeping us open for THIS boring drivel? Really???" Yes, eyeballs, I call it freeing my mind so I can sleep, okay? You - stop yelling at me!!!

Sigh. I apologize to anyone currently reading this. What you must think of me right now. Forgive my little free-flowing catharsis.

Anyway...bottom line is, we can pack everything we own and also still have a relatively clear space in our living area, which makes my mind happier, because for its peace, this is what is needed.

P.S. - My paper journal is even more boring than this. It's just to-do lists and things I need to remember so our world doesn't implode when we leave this place.

This is what sleepy kitten thinks of this entry:

moving back to the US - choosing the option that works for us

So the big thing that I've not been talking about until it was truly official is this: we are moving back to the US, to Portland, OR to be exact. And since now our house is officially sold, I can talk about it and the unnerving process of moving back to the country from whence we came. I can also offer you all of my own personal trials and tribulations in the process, and won't that be fun /sarcasm.

For the past two days my time at this screen has been involved in all manner of changeover details: insurance, auto, storage quotes, finding a place for our cat for a month....anyone in WA or OR want to petsit a cute little orange tabby for a month - in your home? We're happy to pay for the service...

Hubby and I are at that age where moving companies begin to look like both viable and appealing options, so I looked into the costs of hiring one. The only caveat is that taking all of our possessions across the border constitutes an international move, complete with all the requisite paperwork, and therefor warrants adding a bazillion fees to the process - making most moving companies cost prohibitive for us. (Or at least, we are not willing to spend that kind of money when we don't have to).

Another option that also offers convenience is a service like PODS, where they come and drop off a big container and you fill it at your leisure - then they come and take it away and store it until you're ready for it, at which point they will deliver it wherever you wish. They also offer international services, and are only half the cost of the moving companies. And also? For some reason a 6 hour drive across the border takes them 5 business days.

But Hubby and I? Well, we like a deal. And we're big do-it-yourself-ers. If there is something we CAN do ourselves, we tend to do it ourselves. And if it is something like moving all of our stuff and filling out paperwork, well...we're all over that. Because paperwork is what the government is all about! /sarcasm

But seriously, the price difference between renting a truck and loading it yourself then driving it to the storage facility ourselves? It's pretty hefty - as in "covered the airfare for the three of us to fly to St. Louis" hefty. So we're renting a truck. Except there's this one thing: we have plenty of help to load the truck here in our cohousing community  - plenty of strong men to help Hubby load the large appliances, and also, a dolly and carts and anything else we'd need. But when we get to Portland and need to unload into a storage unit? Well, we don't know so many people there. And we don't know anyone well enough to ask them for a favor as big as helping us unload a moving truck into a storage unit.

But because I have access to the internet and pretty much anything I can conceive of that might need doing exists in the world if you just use the right Google search, I discovered that there is, in fact, an answer to my needs.  Delightful, no? You can hire a crew of strapping men to come and help you move your stuff - and they come with customer reviews, so you know what you're in for.

Also, in case anyone is interested because you're considering an across-the border move, here is a screenshot of my spreadsheet I made to compare the costs of DIY moving vs pod moving. An FYI but not included, most moving companies charged about $3K for them to move it (without storage). My spreadsheet:

Interesting note: See how it costs $343 CDN to rent a truck in BC? (Because we're taking it across the border). While in Portland, it is a mere $40 plus mileage? And even with the cost of hiring those guys twice, doing two unloads and one loading of truck, it still comes to less than half the price - so yeah, even though the idea of not having to do all of the unloading is appealing, the idea of saving $1200 is even more appealing. And anyway, there is always the possibility of Josh not doing any of the work and just paying the guys from movinghelp.com to do all of it.

In other news, I got four boxes packed today, including my beehives - prompted by Hubby asking me, "How are we going to pack the hives?" (Don't worry, they're empty.) Plus that nifty spreadsheet there. Progress made!

and so it begins

Our house is officially sold. We will be vacating on August 31st, then taking our belongings to Portland and storing them there for a month while we go visit our family and friends in the midwest. I'm so happy that we're finally getting back to visit everyone after two years of not going anywhere.

Flights are booked. A little tip: look up the flight comparisons on one of those sites that gives you the lowest fares. But once you find that flight, go to the airline website to book it. Because something that you might not realize when you book through those cheap places? Is that itineraries are subject to change not only without notice, but without them notifying you. This happened to us once, and had we not called the airline for something else, we'd have never known they changed our itinerary - we would have missed our flight home. The airlines don't do this, because when you've booked a flight, you've booked that flight. Not the possibility of that flight, or something like it. If I can spare anyone this same fate, it's a good thing.

My upcoming posts might well be about all of my adventures in packing and moving to the US, so be warned. Hopefully I'll be able to offer tips and tricks to others who are moving, maybe someone else will find this useful.

The fun thing about moving is that we get to get rid of stuff. I always love a good purge of stuff we never use, so I have that to look forward to. There is also the Inventory of Everything We Own, which can be informative and interesting, and most useful is that when we're unpacking we know exactly what items are in each box. The inventory is something that was required of us when we moved into Canada, so we are assuming that when returning, the US will also want to know what we're bringing into the country, as they tend to be even more strict about such things.

Of note: the Canadian immigration website is quite user-friendly. If a person is willing to take the time and read the website, pretty much anything anyone might want to know about immigrating is on that website. I mean, really - everything. I cannot say that the US website even comes close. I still have no idea what the requirements are for us moving back into the US, even though I spent a good hour on the website.

I was at least able to contact someone at the DoT to find out what we'd need for our car...though I had to call one number and get the second number, then leave a message and wait for a call back. I think the big difference here is that Canadian government seems to completely abhor phone usage of any kind, ever. There are pretty much zero phone numbers anywhere for people to call immigration, and even when you do find one, all you get is a recorded message with the exact same information that can be found on the website, only less of it. Whereas the US seems much more fond of telephone communication - there are phone numbers everywhere to call for all manner of things, and very little actual information on the website that I can ascertain other than the forms I'll need - only I have to call the numbers to find out which forms.

Sorry if this is totally boring to everyone but me.

Also, see that gorgeous picture above? I found it on the interweb - the photo is linked to the page - and I searched for a way to find the actual artist  - Ramona Safree - and see if maybe she had prints of this for sale. Sadly, I could not find anything. I hope she is still painting and selling her work somewhere, because I love her colours and her soul.