I'm kind of freaking out.
You might remember that I've been slowly transitioning my son to a diet meant to heal his teeth. This diet includes lots of raw animal fats, including grass-fed butter, high vitamin butter oil, cod liver oil. It also includes things like bone marrow, rare meat(grass-fed), bone broths, fermented veggies, lots of wholesome raw foods.
The only sweeteners we were using were honey (raw, unheated) and the rare occasional maple syrup on pancakes (no flour). No grains, no sugar, very little dairy, and then only raw cheese. I was also letting him still eat fruit as a part of the raw foods, although we'd begun to limit it a bit.
Until today, that is. I looked into his mouth because I'd noticed for three nights now he's been complaining that a particular tooth hurt when we brushed, and since it has been consistent, I wanted to see. Back bottom molar on his left side. BIG hole. Just crumbled away.
Shit. Yeah, so I am freaking out, because I thought that we were getting somewhere, even with the whole transitioning thing, but after I saw that hole, I told him straight up, "Okay, I think we've really got to get serious about healing your teeth. You've got a big HOLE in your tooth. You aren't supposed to have HOLES in your teeth like that. I think we're not going to be able to eat fruit anymore. At all. At least for awhile, until your teeth heal."
Of course he cried, because FRUIT! And I intend to take this on with him - I refuse to make him not have the one food he most loves in all the world while I eat the very same right in front of him. Completely not fair. And so Kiernen and I are going fruitless - or at least, minimal fruit. and by minimal, I mean ONE serving a day, of low sugar fruit like berries or something.
I feel like such a complete and utter failure as a parent right now. I feel like a shitheel of a mother. I've known about this decay and the crumbling of the enamel since it has been happening, since he was 6 months old. He already had his top four front teeth extracted because of this and one of them breaking. (NEVER AGAIN, BTW. NEVER.) I've known that there was SOMETHING we could do nutritionally to heal/re-mineralize teeth all of this time, I just wasn't totally sure what, and then I had this STUPID idea that I needed to let things be natural and some shit about deprivation. Not wanting to tell him he cannot have/etc. Issues from my own deprived childhood rearing their ugly heads, unbeknownst to me...
And I read:
"Cure Tooth Decay" by Ramiel Nagel
"Gut and Psychology Syndrome" by Natasha Campbell-McBride
"Nutrition and Physical Degeneration: A Comparison of Primitive and Modern Diets
and Their Effects" by Weston A. Price, MS., D.D.S., F.A.G.D.
"GAPS Guide" by Baden
"Breaking the Vicious Cycle" by Elaine Gottschall
And a great article that summarizes well and offers even more resources:
You Can Heal Your Child's Teeth by Ramiel Nagel
It has taken me THIS long to realize not only what to do, but that I could actually do it. It took my now dear friend Baden moving into my community with her son who she healed of autism through this diet to see that yes, you CAN tell a child he cannot have a food that his friends are eating and He WILL BE OKAY. I really didn't know this. I was so worried about some kind of emotional scarring. But I see her son and how absolutely at PEACE he is with the world, and how GROUNDED he is in his body. I watch other kids in our community completely out of their minds because of the amount of wheat/sugar that is in their diet. I really, really see the difference. One child here is so volatile when he is fed certain foods that he literally cannot be around other kids, because he comes out just swinging away and screaming his head off. He literally loses his shit after he eats certain foods - just becomes out of his mind.
I see already the difference that removing these foods is making for Kiernen - taking out wheat and sugar altogether has made an AMAZING difference (at the same time adding in bone broths and lots of fats). My own son is now much more relaxed and able to handle most upsets (except the little boy who loses his mind, he is still very much affected by him and they both end up in physical scraps together). He is more confident in himself and he will be away from us, his parents, for extended periods of time - this was unheard of before. UNHEARD of. Other people in our community are seeing it, too, because they've now watched him grow since he was 14 months old and they KNOW how he was.
Just last night we were in the common house dining room talking to some guests who came to visit all the way from The Farm. yes THE The Farm. As in "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin, them who brought midwifery BACK to the US. So you know, I was VERY interested in hearing them talk about what it took to create that community and how it was able to sustain long term, etc. I'd read their book, "Voices From the Farm", and was even more enthralled. My husband and I both were, and wanted to hear what they were going to say.
after the potluck in the dining room (for which we brought our own meal instead and just joined them), Kiernen ran off with the other kids into the Playroom. Of note, he almost always request accompaniment into the playroom, so this in and of itself was impressive. But THEN he stayed out there for like two or more hours (who pays attention to time?) with all of the other kids AND one or two other parents, only returning every now and again to touch base and give me a big hug. Then off he'd go again into the wild blue yonder. Without either of us. Not even asking us to come.
WHOA.
Tonight he and I were watching a bit of the screen (he LOVES that darn YouTube, and has been feeling a bit under the weather lately, so I allowed it for a while before bedtime). All of a sudden he turns to me and says, "I love you, Mommy," and lays a big ol' snuggle on me. MELT!!!
And when I told him time was about up and only one more YouTube vid and then bed? He did not scream. He did not cry. he did not even whine. He said, "Okay," and searched and searched for just the right video to watch as his LAST video of the night. Usually? There are tears and meltdowns and DRAMA. So WHOA.
And? Did I mention? The child is bathing - willingly and even, dare I say it, frequently. I almost never ask him to take a bath anymore - instead, he informs me that he is dirty and he needs one, and I fill the tub for him, and then in he goes - and plays there for like an hour while I read email or some such.
Freaking amazing.
If anyone EVER tells you that diet has nothing to do with healing? You send them to me or my dear friend Baden. Because we will most certainly regale them with our tales of healing (hers are FAR more dramatic than my own thus far, because her son was Autistic, like banging his head against the floor until it bled Autistic, like screaming all night in terror Autistic, like he could NOT talk Autistic, like he couldn't even have food TOUCH his lips without vomiting profusely Autistic. And you would NEVER guess it to meet him - because he is happy, shining, glowing with health, mellow, sweet and flowing little guy - ALL because of their amazing program).
So yeah. I have Baden to thank for helping me to realize that I really CAN do this, and that it really is TIME. And I can even take out the fruit. I really can. Because my son's health, MY health, these are worth it. Because really, would we rather have fruit? Or teeth?
